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Grooming is the process by which a predator draws a victim into a sexual relationship and maintains that relationship in secrecy. The shrouding of the relationship is an essential feature of grooming. As part of the process, the predator works to separate the child from peers, parents, and family, typically by engendering in the child a sense that they are special and give to the child a kind of love that they need and crave.

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To give you and your child a fighting chance against child sexual predators…

Building Trust

Building Trust

We are family, this is our little secret, don’t tell anyone because they would try to break us up and take me away from you.”

Predators are nothing if not masterful at showing your child, love, attention, and adoration. The groomer makes the child feel good about themselves. Special trips, treats, and mentoring are key tricks predator-groomers use. The child feels they are their best self with the predator. Your child feels the way an object of love feels – euphoric.

Building Parents/Caregivers Trust

Building Parents - Caregivers Trust

“The wife couldn’t pick Morgan up today, so I guess I’m the stand-in chauffeur.”

He hustles your child out the door and into his car for their special time together. While the predator grooms your child, he is also grooming you.

Filling a Need

Filling a Need

Giving the child a kind of love that the child needs – “You are so brave, a real daredevil, you are perfect just the way you are.”

Manipulating the Victim

Manipulating the Victim

“I don’t think we should tell your parents about us or our relationship. We should wait. I don’t think they are quite ready.”

Grooming predators use words like “we” “family” “together” “best friends” “your family doesn’t appreciate you.” “They don’t understand you.” They undermine the victim’s family and relationship with trusted adults.

The majority of children who’ve been victimized never tell us. And tragically, the ones who do are not heard or believed. It’s up to us to spot the warning signs and listen. The best way to do that is to understand how predators groom our children for sexual assault. Remember, these grooming predators are pros at appearing to the outside world as warm, caring, loving, endearing, and respectful. They are sports coaches, religious leaders, Boy Scout leaders, soccer coaches, tutors, fathers of playmates, uncles, family friends, neighbors, grandfathers, stepfathers, and anyone who comes into regular contact with our children.

And they are everywhere our kids are.

To read the full article Top Ten Ways People Groom Children For Sexual Assault And How To Protect Your Child, © by Shari Karney, Esq., go here.

To see an amazing film portrayal of the grooming process, watch HBO’s The Tale, starring Laura Dern..